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Libary noun :: A library for the illiterate

"I have a bar going on in my libary.” — Melissa Gorga, first-time libary visitor

(“Real Housewives of New Jersey,” season 3 episode 9)

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Median noun :: A strip of land between opposite-direction lanes of traffic that also has the ability to communicate with deceased relatives who have horrible musical tastes (not to be confused with Allison DuBois, whose abilities include smoking ecigarettes and stirring the pot at awkward dinner parties)

“I don’t talk to medians. I don’t talk to psychics. I just don’t do it. But when they told me that this median channeled my father, my whole body just got the chills, because I felt like that is something he would say.” — Melissa Gorga, recording artist, on display each and every day

(“Real Housewives of New Jersey,” season 3 episode 13)

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Delicatessen noun :: An unpronounceable French-y food item sold by the pound and wrapped in butcher paper

"We can absolutely not serve foie gras. I almost lost my stomach when I had that. No, no, no, and I know it’s a delicatessen in French. No. No.” — Alexis Bellino, holier than thou, Croissan’Wich fan

(“Real Housewives of New York City,” season 6 episode 12)

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Prostitution whore noun :: A whore who engages in prostitution

"I am paying attention. Obviously, there has to be something else. It’s just not name-change and arrested. There has to be something else. Were you stripping? Stripping? Prostitution whore! You were f*cking engaged 19 times?!” — Teresa Giudice, table flipper, only allows God to tell her to pay attention

(“Real Housewives of New Jersey,” season 1 episode 7)

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Machiavellic adjective :: Cunning, scheming, especially in the eyes of one who’s insecure

"Lisa’s the one that was prompting Taylor on the plane to say these things. Like, ‘well, don’t you think Camille’s insecure?’ It was very Machiavellic in its nature.” — Camille Grammer, not interesting without Kelsey

(“Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,” season 1 episode 6)

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Ya habibi noun :: Darling (in Arabic)

"How much do you love ya habibi? Ya habibi.” — The Countess LuAnn de Lesseps, royalty, author, recording artist, arbiter of class and chic c’est la vie

(“Real Housewives of New York City,” season 4)

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Antidote noun :: An anecdote inspired by pinot grigio

"Sonja’s trying to tell a funny antidote to break the ice between Cindy and I.” — Ramona Singer, wine mogul, leader of the Pecking Order

(“Real Housewives of New York City,” season 4 episode 8)

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Wench noun :: A wretch who also is a prostitute

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wench like me.” — Melissa Gorga, recording artist

(“Real Housewives of New Jersey,” season 3 episode 3)

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Ingrediences noun :: Giudice for “ingredients”

"I remember when I first got married, I would buy cookbooks. And there would be, like, a million ingrediences. Like, some ingrediences that we never use as Italians. Like … um … cumin.” — Teresa Giudice, cookbook author, art director

(“Real Housewives of New Jersey,” season 3 episode 3)